1. Any name that rhymes with a command.

Just imagine the confusion: “Bo, no!”  “Fetch, Sketch!”  “Speak, Zeke!”

2. Naming a new dog after a dog that passed away.

It might be meant as a tribute to your beloved pooch, but it’s important to remember that no two dogs are alike, and you’re likely giving the new guy some unfair expectations to live up to (and no, “sequal naming” isn’t allowed either–do you really want to explain to everyone who meets your dog why his name is Snowball 2?)

3. Naming your dog after an ex.

I’ve actually heard of people doing this. While it may be fun to tell Joe the dog to sit, stay and fetch, just remember at the end of the day, you’re cleaning up after him and paying for all his meals–just like you did with Joe the human.

Let’s not take out our relationships issues on our dogs, OK?

4. Names of dogs from movies or TV shows.

If you met a Collie named Lassie, would your first thought be “Oh! Just like the movie! How cute!” or “Wow. Lazy.”

5. Naming after designer clothes, bags, etc.

Because nobody wants to own a knock-off Gucci.

6. Naming after food.

I know there are exceptions here, but the cute-factor of dog names like Biscuit, Peanut Butter, and Lobster Thermidor spoils pretty fast.

7. Names reflecting not-so-appealing traits.

Stinky, Drooley, Hairball. Your dog might not know what her name means, but your fellow humans might think you’re kind of a jerk.

8. “Typical” Names.

If you’re at the dog park calling for your dog Max, be prepared for 20 other dogs to come running in your direction.

9. Any name that might give people the wrong impression about your dog.

Brutus, Tuffy, Jaws–Your mailman knows all too well that even 4-lb Chihuahuas can bite, so he might not appreciate the irony when he hears you yelling, “Down Killer, down!”

10. Names that contain more than two words.

Mr. Barky von Schnauzer The Third doesn’t fit on a name tag for a reason.