Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Beary’s Poop. Look at it in all its glistening glory. There it stands like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, resting against the tree bark. Why is this special? For a few weeks now, Beary’s picked up a new habit I’ve dubbed P2P, as in pee-to-poop. He’ll scour the turf for the nearest unmarked area where he can leave his little urine sample and, instead of going for #1, it quickly turns into #2. Allow me to explain in a brief play-by-play of how somebody would narrate this fascinating behavior.

Beary’s goin for number #1.

He’s searching, he’s sniffing faster and faster. His nose is out of control.

He’s pacing around in circles, looking left and right.

He’s moved away from the greenery and now heading toward a tree.

He’s sniffing it… seems to pass the litmus test.

Sniffing some more now…

Whoop, this seems to be it! Here he goes! He’s about to lift his left hind leg… and… AND….

Oh no! He’s done a quick 180! He’s…. he’s…. POOOOPING!

It really is quite funny. I’d post video footage of it if I had any and if it didn’t seem so unglamorous, ha! Anyway, I just think it’s hilarious that this particular fecal matter actually stayed upright, leaning against a tree. It was equally disgusting as it was almost amazing.