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I’m Not Leash Walking My Future Kid(s)

Child LeashThings I will never plan on doing: claim to have been abducted by aliens, attempt to cook vaththalkuzhambu, mess with Chuck Norris’ beard and, oh yeah, leash walk my future kid(s). Apparently, these child leashes seem to be somewhat popular based on the frequent oh yeahs I get upon mentioning them to any of my friends, but C’MON… a child leash? I can understand Beary White. He’s got the attention span of a doorstop and would immediately bail on me, chasing a blowing leaf at first sight. But a kid? Now, that’s something else. The first moment I saw a dad leash walking his toddler son at a mall, I did a double-take. “What the hell is that?” jumped to mind, followed by “no freakin way,” followed by “oh man, I gotta take a picture of this.” *Click.* I understand the point – safety – and the convenience of it all, and I’m sure I might reconsider once said future kid(s) plant(s) his/her feet on the ground. You can never play it too safe as I’m sure my mom would probably tout. As of right this moment, though, I think the dog influence on our human lives needs to take two paw steps back. It’s overkill. Besides, watching a kid on leash constantly reminds me of this hilarious South Park episode when Cesar Millan leash walks Cartman (don’t play the clip unless you can savor crude, crass and profane humor). And it just looks so humiliating… but man, what a cool picture!

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